TRUE Music Stories that Made Me Laugh: Ke$ha's Placenta Necklace

I've been busy lately, so I haven't had time to post any Top 20's recently. But I must continue posting, so I've decided to start a new segment: TRUE Music Stories that Made Me Laugh. This week, I've decided to go with an old article: Ke$ha's Placenta Necklace.

Click on http://youthoughtso.com/2010/03/09/kooky-keha-wears-placenta-necklace/ for one of the MANY articles about it.

Ke$ha stated to the press: "I'm into energy. I recently went to see a past-life regressionist, who is also a psychic. I wear my placenta around my neck every day, because it's supposed to give you a second sight. I feel like I've had many lifetimes before." [source: celebrifi]

All I can say to that is....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!! First of all, what the hell is a past-life regressionist?!? I'm at a complete loss. And he/she's a psychic as well! It's nice to know that Ke$ha goes to a psychic for help when she has problems.

The placenta is supposed to give you a second sight? I'm sure she just thinks it's the placenta and not all the alcohol she drank last night. Oh, and Ke$ha, if you're reading this, the placenta is NOT giving you the feeling of many lifetimes. That's probably a side-effect of all the pills you're popping, and you might wanna get that checked out.

On August 24, 2010, Listen to ME Singing In the MyndJack Radio Idol Tour!

As you may know, I came in 5th place on Season 2 of MyndJack Radio Idol. Since I placed in the Top 10, I get to participate in the MyndJack Radio Idol Tour! You'll get to hear me sing 3 songs on my own, plus 3 Group performances, a duet with the runner-up, Dee Teufel, AND a special performance with me, Justin Slacking (Slacking for short, and Slack for shorter), and Danny Quanchi (6th place and 8th place finishers, respectively)! Which song we'll be singing, and our group name, I won't reveal. But both are EPIC.

So if you want to find out, tune in to the MyndJack Radio Show on August 24 at 9 PM, Eastern. The concert will be on for 3 hours. If you want to tune in (which I strongly suggest you do), simply go to http://www.alldigitalradio.com at 9 PM Eastern, and click the "High" under "Tune-In." The show should start in a few minutes.

Remember, you'll get to hear some truly EPIC performances that night.

TJ Tunes Special: Top 10 Most Laughable Songs Ever Recorded

With every good song comes 5 crappy pop songs. Because of this I give you the 10 Most Laughable Songs Ever Recorded. Yes, most of them have been released fairly recently.

10. Kid Rock - "All Summer Long"

Kid Rock is what you call an "artist." Note the quotation marks. What he does is COMPLETELY rip-off the tracks from other songs, combine them, release a "new," "fresh" song, and BAM! You've got a platinum-selling album. Such is the case with "All Summer Long." Sad, isn't it?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTufZ3JEC5I

9. Miley Cyrus - "Party In the USA"

Completely unoriginal and trite, Miley Cyrus delivers arguably one of the most interchangeable and bland pop songs of all time.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M11SvDtPBhA

8. Black Eyed Peas - "Let's Get It Started"

One of BEP's hits from their album Elephunk was "Let's Get It Started." They never mention what said "it" is, and we never know what they are "starting." But 10 bucks says "it" was something not deep (AKA, shallow), or partying all night. Songs about partying would be a recurring theme among Black Eyed Peas songs and they would also deliver the suck.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKqV7DB8Iwg

7. Avril Laveigne - "Girlfriend"

Isn't Avril totally "punk?" She is sooooo a "hard-rocker," and is definetely "tough."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg59q4puhmg&feature=av2e

6. The Jonas Brothers - "Burnin' Up"

I remember the good ole' days of 2006 when everyone was complaining how the Jonas Brothers sucked. Little did we know what was to come in 2009, when He Who Shall Not Be Named arrived to the music scene.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XOwdqjDCKQA

5. Gwen Stefani - "Sweet Escape"

Oh Gwen. Gwen Gwen Gweny Gwen Gwen. Why are your songs so terrible? Could it be the screaming "YOO-HOO!"'s way too much? Could it be trying to rap? Who knows. But I don't find it surprising that you haven't released another album yet.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O0lf_fE3HwA&feature=fvst

4. Katy Perry - "California Gurls"

Katy Perry isn't known for her deep and meaningful songs. Quite the opposite. "California Gurls" is one of the shallowest songs ever written. With such subjects as how California girls are the best, most beautiful, or tannest (an accomplishement that sounds more like a flaw), the song reeks of shallow.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CwE-SLnLkqY&feature=av2n

3. Justin Bieber - [insert any song sung by him here]

I can gladly say I haven't heard much of Justin Bieber's songs. But what I have heard I ZOMG HATE SO FREAKING MUCH!!11!1!! As if I'm going to change the fact that I haven't heard a full song by him yet. So just insert any song that he sings and this will be #3.

2. Ke$ha - "Tik Tok"

"Tik Tok" is one of the stupidest songs I've ever heard. The lyrics are beyond words in terms of stupidity. All this is is a stupid piece of lyrical garbage that's fun to dance to. Emphasis on lyrical garbage.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iP6XpLQM2Cs

1. Black Eyed Peas - "I Gotta Feeling"

"I Gotta Feeling." Oh how I loathe that song. Tell me, since when are there 8 days in the week? Since when are there 2 Saturdays? Last time I checked, there were only 7 days, and Saturday was a day that occured only ONCE. GAH!!!1!11!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6eIDVCqkc28

Didn't Listen to My Interview Last Night? It's Been Archived!

As you may know, I was interviewed last night on the All Digital Radio Network's show, "Off the Record." If you'd like to hear it, go to http://alldigitalradio.com/?q=node/2060and listen!

TJ Tunes Review: "Shark In the Water" by V.V. Brown

Another song I listened to quite a bit on the road. Will this song be swimming with the dolphins or land in the shark pool? (terrible analogy, I know) Read on the find out!

Lyrically I had trouble finding, for lack of a better term, the message of the song. Most songs generally have some meaning behind it, but I couldn't think of one. According the the music video however, it's about a boyfriend who cheats. So the song is a giant metaphor. Never had one of those songs before [/sarcasm].

I really couldn't get into the lyrics at first, but after a while I decided that the reason behind it was because most songs today are very straight-forward and candid. They always get to the point right away; they're partying until the sun comes up, tonight will be a good night, or they got "it" (what "it" is I still don't know, but whatever it is, they want you to know they got "it"). This song, however, is not like that. It's not often I get to hear a song with a metaphor. Since it's not blather like other artists (such as the Black Eyed Peas), I decided that I like the lyrics.

But as we all know, no one cares about the lyrics; it's the melody and rhythyms. How are they? I must say, not bad. It is fairly hard to forget this song or mix it up with another one. I actually found the melody quite original. It's catchy, appealing, and you'll want to hear it again.

All in all, this is a great song that, in my opinion, is a breathe of fresh air to the pop world. It's not shallow like Ke$ha, it makes sense, and above all, it's original.

RATING: 9.9/10

Catch ME Tonight On Off the Record Radio!

Tonight at 11 PM Eastern, I'll be featured in an interview on the All Digital Radio Network's Show "Off the Record!"

Like any guest, I'll be plugging my blog. I'll also be talking about how pop sells despite being utter crap, countdowns, and other awesome music-related topics!

Want to tune in? Follow these steps!

1) Go to http://www.alldigitalradio.com/ . Click the "High" button under "Tune In." The show should start in a few minutes.

2) Probably half-way through the show, they'll connect me via Skype. Then the interview will begin!

3) Want to call in? Simply call 201-793-8255 and chat with me and the OTR panel!

Don't delay! Log on when the time comes!

MyndJack Radio Idol Finale Tonight!

This blog started quite a bit after MJRI (MyndJack Radio Idol) began. For those of you who don't know, I was in an online radio singing contest. I made the Top 24, the Top 16, the Top 12, but I was sadly eliminated...7 episodes later. That's right; I came in 5th place!

Anyway, my time may be up, but I want YOU to listen to the finale TONIGHT! Here's how:

1) At 9 PM Eastern, go to http://www.alldigitalradio.com . There should be a tune-in sign. Click that. MyndJack Radio should start in a few minutes (depending on when you click, you may be hearing "The Radio Dan Show").

2) If you want, you can join the Myndjack Radio Chat at http://www.myndjack.com/radioblog/?page_id=367 . You need a (free) Chatango account to join the chat.

3) Listen, enjoy, and chat as you enjoy hearing either Dee Teufel or Dr. Lulzington become the winner of Season 2 of MyndJack Radio Idol! Special performances by the entire Top 12! That includes me!

Upcoming August & September Release Dates

According to wikipedia (untrustworthy, I know, but it's quick and easy), the following albums will be released in August and September of 2010. If any dates turn out to be incorrect or moved, I will change them.

AUGUST

8/24/2010:
Fantasia Barrino - Back to Me
Katy Perry - Teenage Dream

SEPTEMBER

9/07/2010:
Sara Bareilles - Kaleidoscope Heart

9/14/2010
Kanye West - Dark Twisted Fantasy
Shontelle - No Gravity
Weezer - Hurley

9/20/2010
Diddy - Last Train to Paris

9/21/2010
Maroon 5 - Hands All Over
Ne-Yo - Libra Scale
Nelly - Nelly 5.0

9/28/2010
T.I. - King Uncaged
Selena Gomez & The Scene - A Year Without Rain

So what do you think? What will be good? What will be bad? Comment!

If Pop Music Sucks, Why Is It On My Top 20 List?

On this site you can find me putting songs by Ke$ha and Katy Perry on my Top 20 lists, but on sites such as Vote for the Worst, you'll find me making fun of them. Why is that?

Pop music sucks. You know it, I know it, even pop-stars know it (they just won't tell you). It sucks, but it sucks in the respect that the lyrics are less desirable than drinking a cup of warm cat-pee. Take, for example, an excerpt from the brilliant song (keep in mind italics can mean sarcasm) by the Black Eyed Peas, "I Gotta Feeling."

Tonight's the night (hey)
Let's live it up (let's live it up)
I got my money (my pay)
Let's spend it up (let's spend it up)
Go out smashin' (smashin')
Like, 'Oh my gawd' (like, 'Oh my gawd')
Jump off that sofa (come one)
Let's get, get off

Fill up my cup (drank)
Maveltov! (Le Heim)
Look at her dancing (move it, move it)
Just take it off

Let's paint the town (paint the town)
We'll shut it down (shut it down)
Let's burn the roof (Wooh!)
And then we'll do it again

That was painful to type. Anyway, you can see what I mean when I say lyrics to pop songs tend to be on the awful side (Seriously, maveltov?!?). These lyrics are not deep, they're not good, they don't even make sense half the time. Yet "I Gotta Feeling" is the 4th most bought song of last decade, and it was released in 2009. That's right: this song, released with only a few months left in 2009, by midnight of December 31, 2009, managed to outsell all but 3 songs, some of which had almost 10 whole years to earn sales.

So why does this garbage sell so well? Rhythyms, melodies, and beats. Producers or artists know that the general public doesn't care one bit about the lyrics (save Tipper Gore and a few others)- the public is looking for a song that they can either 1) sing along to 2) dance to or 3) dance and sing to. If people really cared about lyrics, "I Gotta Feeling" wouldn't have been so successful. Producers, songwriters, and artists cash-in on this, and instead of wasting energy on song-writing, try to find a good melody and beat that people will dance to. Don't believe me? Listen to your local pop station (KISS FM should work). Listen to ten songs in a row (some of those ten might be the same one!). Out of those then, count how many songs you wouldn't be surprised to hear in a nightclub. I will be shocked if your answer is below 6. Now, listen againg, but try to find just one song in which the lyrics are deep and meaningful. No, not right now. It'll take too long.

Look, anyone who thinks "Tik Tok" is a deep and meaningful song is a moron. Why? Because it's not! In reality, it's just a shallow, poorly-written, fun, catchy, trendy song, and should be treated as such. If I'm going to listen to music for it's deep and meaningful lyrics I might as well not listen to music at all. Honestly, a song could just be random shouting for 3 1/2 minutes but if its got a good beat I'll listen to it.

Besides, when did I ever say "Top 20 Songs" meant "20 Best Songs Ever Written"?

TJ Tunes Review: "King of Anything" by Sara Bareilles

I've said it before and I'll say it again: travelling gives you a lot of time to listen to music. Before I left for California two weeks ago I updated my playlists. One of the songs I added to my iPod (actually I added it to my brother's iPod since mine was having problems) was Sara Bareilles's newest single: "King of Anything."

Straying away from what people normally call "pop music," Bareilles once again utilizes her piano skills, something that, for the time being, is often overlooked in the dance-pop world for the miracles of auto-tune and sing-talking. The piano is quite catchy, and makes it fairly difficult to confuse this song with any other.

As for the melody, not bad, but I can say that for just about any of the drek we call "pop music" lately. As for originality, think of it this way: the song doesn't start with an electronic bass playing the notes C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-D-D-D-D-C#-C#-C#-C# then the "artist" begins "singing," so in my opinion, the melody is very original.

Lyrically this song isn't that bad. Essentially, the song is about her telling someone to shove-it, but in a nice way. In other words the lyrics are a re-hash of her previous hit, "Love Song," so I can't necessarily give her orignality in this category. When asked about the song, Bareilles had this to say: "'King of Anything' is sort of a f**k you song; I've had more unsolicited advice on my life than I care to mention, and this was how I dealt with it. It felt empowering to turn that frustration into music, especially a song that doesn't even sound angry. That's sort of what 'Love Song' was as well. Apparently, I don't get over things very quickly." (source: Facebook).

All in all, this is a catchy, fun pop song that's hard to forget. It'll either drive you mad or will be like musical heroin. If you don't like Sara Bareilles, you won't like this song. If you love Sara Bareilles, you'll love this song. If you've never heard of her, you may or may not like it.

RATING: 8.9/10